SIX OF CHICKENS you will die

Placement: The Negligible Arcana



Six hens tied together at the ankle by a blue ribbon struggle to free themselves. One succeeds. Since a scrap of ribbon remains attached to her, she remains cordon bleu.


Right side up:

You have been sucked into the troubles of gossipy hens. As a result, you now find yourself “so,” as the kids say, “over their drama.” Although birds of a feather may flock together, they may also bring you down. Remember too that together you form a larger target, perfect for attack by figurative foxes, metaphoric meat cleavers, and anything that will land you in a parable pie.

In tarot, chickens, and birds in general, represent the dichotomy between freedom and captivity. The six of any suit indicates a departure. Three is a crowd, six doubly-so. Therefore, now is the time to break from the brood, flee the flock, clear the coop and take wing even if you are inherently flightless and have no real survival skills.

Our currently missing wise elder Michel Nolastname chanted during a discussion on the Six of Chickens, “Five they were, and minuscule, leaping like springs on the cot. A sixth missed his footing and caused injury to his head. His caregiver hailed the physician. The latter exclaimed “No more [Nolastname said “monkeys” but the lesson applies equally to chickens] jumping on the bed!’” This was perhaps the most vague and least familiar thing Mr. Nolastname has ever said. Such genius.


Upside down:

This card reversed corresponds with the theme of an unlikely band of outsiders who must join forces for the greater good, or at the very least for a heroic last stand. You are The Dirty Dozen, The 300, the Antarctic researchers versus The Thing, the students on the Miserable barricade, the students filming The Blair Witch Project, the students weekending in haunted cabins, the students of both Joss Whedon’s and Hanna-Barbera’s Scooby Gangs.* You are the dinosaurs, whose measly few survivors evolved into chickens.** Despite inconceivable odds, you must settle your differences and pullet together.

*You may wish to reconsider the necessity of earning a degree.


Classic Six of Chickens deaths:

  • Slaughtered by shrapnel as you “blow this popsicle stand”
  • Executed under the Inverse Ninja Law***
  • The proverbial game master overestimated the strengths of your party and you proverbially roll a one
  • Your friends, now zombies, welcome you into their hoard with open jaws


**Coincidence? I think not!

***According to cinematic logic, a singular ninja is stronger and more capable than those who take part in an ambush.


An update on the disappearance of Michel Nolastname:


We at S.A.U.C.E. remain vigilant and take shifts searching for our dear friend Michel Nolastname. When we read a spread of cards the other day, (see previous recent entries) Six of Chickens reversed was the fourth card. The fourth pertains to something applicable from the distant past that we must recall if we are to solve the problem. Following this clue, Tina and Ray Moretti have taken a ferry out to the island where the orphanage that may have housed him as a child, and from which he may have escaped, if we are to correctly interpret things he said about his past.

It occurs to me now, however, that the card may not be telling us about his distant past, mysterious as it is, but about our distant past as a group of his friends and followers. Elsie Cabret says that she first met him (rambling about falling down a well when he was young) at the greasy spoon establishment she managed. She allowed him to dine-and-dash on chicken nuggets and the occasional prepackaged square of lemon cake. The Cake card reversed, you may recall, was the final card in our spread. We have already looked for him at every bakery we could find, to no avail. Ms. Cabret’s diner no longer exists, but… oh… hm… maybe? No, wait…