PAGE OF CHICKENS

Placement: The Negligible Arcana

Description:

A young but world-weary child poses with an adult chicken. Both chick and child share an expression of deadly seriousness. Sometimes the child smokes a cigarette or a pipe or holds a copy of the Times of London or Oncoming Asteroids Weekly. In some decks, they may also cradle a bottle of impossible to pronounce scotch. Those in the tarot community have the distinct impression that the Page of Chickens can not only pronounce it, the young savant can also tell you how long it will take for the three-hundred-year-old distillery to go bankrupt, and how to serve it to fully experience its unique peatiness. Hint: it’s not what you think.

Right side up:

“The sky is falling,” Says the visionary Chicken Little, when a mysterious object falls upon her head.

She tracks down PhD student Ducky Lucky, who looks deeply into the matter and, alarmed by both their findings, tells the head of the department, Turkey Lurkey. The trio takes the information to a conference, where they learn that others have made the very same discovery. They agree: “The sky is falling. We must go and tell the king.”

The king’s most trusted adviser, Foxy Loxy, assures his majesty that the sky is definitely not falling and that researchers in the poultry community are nothing but fear mongers, bent on undermining the Barnyard way of life. He then lures Chicken Little, Ducky Lucky and Turkey Lurkey into a trap and serves the king a delicious turducken. No one enjoys this feast, however. The sky falls during appetisers.

Upside down:

The punk. Society ignores the constant threat of falling skies, but as soon as she develops the ability to think critically, the Page of Chickens Reversed has figured it out. She has also learned enough history (barely) to know that war isn’t worth it, peace encourages apathy, and handing Pepsi to representatives of fascist overlords doesn’t create social change. The Page of Chickens Reversed will not bother with the king. Curses to the king; he is a puppet for the greedy. Curses to the sky, for it will not crush your rebellious spirit. There is no future except the one you can make with those who understand. You want to be heard? Be loud. Be proud. Be furious. Pass the hairspray.

Classic Page of Chickens deaths:

  • Scrambled
  • Hardboiled
  • Served to the Breakfast Club
  • Expulsion from the school of life
  • Inspiring the heroine of a dystopian young adult novel
  • Insights literally hatching from your brain shell
  • Grounded until, like, forever
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