SIX OF LIZARDS you will die

Placement: The Negligible Arcana


Six slick lizards sitting on sticks, the second a skeleton.

Ask your friends and family to say this phrase out loud, repeatedly, as fast as they can. If they cannot, then they are Lizard People sent to overthrow the Earth’s governments and form a New World Order. Try this test for everyone you meet.

Right side up:

Step away from your current circumstances and either reflect upon it as an outsider or else run far away. Run and run until the kindly hosts of a so-called safe house unzip their human skins to reveal the scaly oppressors they are inside!

Upside down:

What are those humans complaining about? You don’t see species. They’re the ones being speciesist for making it all about their personal safety. Your life hasn’t been perfect just because your ancestors came to colonise the planet and seize its resources. You weren’t the one personally making those decisions and therefore you get no privilege from it. In any case, the Lizard People brought prosperity and civilisation, and a better flag. Some of your best friends are human and they don’t get offended when you use the term “hairback”. At least you think they’re your friends (It can be hard to tell humans apart) but for some reason, it seems like they might be avoiding you. Why? You’re one of the good ones!

Classic Six of Lizard deaths:

The Lizard People apparently know many ways to kill humans, none of them fit for even this enlightenedly pessimistic blog.