knight-of-fish-you-will-die

Placement: The Negligible Arcana

Description:

A zitiron, a mythological sea knight with the lower body of a fish, the weapons of a knight, and the washboard abs of a man. The head and face are covered entirely by a helmet. It could look like pug for all we know.

 

Right side up:

This card indicates a false hero, revered for something he, she, they or ze did not do. The one who takes all the credit, the proxy for the real power behind the scenes.* The gladiator who wins because her adversary fell for reasons unrelated to the fight. The model posing for the camera as a symbolic representation of ideal soldiery. The patent-thief. The Best Actor winner whose breakthrough performance was orchestrated by the director’s strategic placement of allergens during crying scenes.

There is something fishy about your claim to fame.

Alternatively, you attempt to swim in heavy armour without drowning. This is not advisable. The friendly clerks at the armour store lied to you about what you can and cannot do with this product and you bought it anyway without double-checking your sources or perusing online reviews. Then again, customers must be alive after first usage to post a negative review.

 

Upside down:

The unsung hero who gives all of his, her, their or zir being to a task and receives no credit whatsoever. The exhausted civil servant, the gladiator’s punching bag, the assistant coach, the unknown soldier, the duped inventor, the film editor sitting in the dark, barely scraping up most tolerable clips of a lead actor and assembling the lot into a perfect, heartbreaking rhythm.

Alternatively, you sell heavy armour to swimmers. Shame on you. Shame.

 

*See the suit of Lizards for more on the subject of conspiracy.

Classic Knight of Fish deaths:

  • Dying a hero or living long enough to become the villain
  • Believing your own press
  • Character assassination
  • Facing the enemy you claimed to have killed long ago
  • Jumping the shark
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