Placement: The Obscure Arcana


Dali didn’t dilly-dally.


Right side up:

Learning the exact date and time of your death will buy you no time. If an oracle tells you that you will be devoured by sharks tomorrow at 3:16 p.m. and 47 seconds, do not drive further inland! Humanity barely survived the last four sharknado tragedies.

Michel Nolastname, a late great legend of the tarot reading world, said of the Punctuality card, “The sailor recovers from battles in my navel, then flies off to Neptune like a bat out of hell. Red things will fear the spray of the ocean!” Perhaps maybe he misheard and thought I was asking about one of the Cups cards. I am unsure as to whether the wise man answered my question about the Punctuality card or wanted a drink of cranberry juice.


Upside down:

You’re late, you’re late for a very important date that may have saved your life.


Classic Punctuality deaths:

  • Weeping Angels
  • Crushed under a grandfather clock
  • Immortalised in an ancient Greek play
  • Hour-glass quicksand