Hello, this is your usual blogger, [NAME WITHELD] and I believe we have discovered a crack in the black abyss that currently surrounds our cursed headquarters. At least, it may a crack in the abyss. It may also be a torn piece of Julen Ibarra’s rave clothing. He cannot tell us, as we were forced to sedate him after an incident with tinfoil, Danny Delaire’s pet spider (Dimitri) and a limited edition blu-ray of “Frankenstein Saves The Whale”. We shall see.

 

DAMSEL OF WANDS die

Placement: The Minor Arcana

Description: A young woman with an elaborate golden updo waves to the illustrator with one hand while holding a staff in the other. There is a pattern in the fabric of her blue gown, which may be in the shape of tadpoles, masculine reproductive cells or almond Hershey Kisses (hopefully not at the same time)

 

Right Side Up:

The Damsel of Wands upright symbolizes the “there are no wrong ideas” tactic that proponents of brainstorming recommend, or the “yes, and” rule of comedic improvisation. You may find yourself suddenly following the whims of your colleagues and an audience as they give you a random “job type, a place name and an animal.” Trust your instincts, though your autobiography will read like an off-brand book of Mad Libs. Stop plotting and fly by the seat of your pants like an adorable free spirit that everyone wants to strangle.

 

Upside Down:

Pull down your flying pants and plot. Of course there are bad ideas. Most ideas are terrible. Sometimes the third word after “yes, and” is “die”.

Do not Mad Lib your [      noun      ] away. In fact, do not [     verb    ]. Ever. Plan your [    verb    ] or you may lose your [     adjective    ] [       noun      ] like the foolish [       animal      ] that you are. Your instincts are [       negative adjective        ].

 

Classic Damsel of Wands deaths:

  • Random road trip generator
  • Choking on bits and bites
  • Failed Hogwarts spell
  • High stakes truth or dare
  • Attack of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl
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