hey it’s me again! kiki? from the kinship of experts in tea, coffee and herbs’ unfailing predictions a.k.a KETCHUP?
my mentor herb just fainted because
there was a note tied to its back
when herb fell he scared the poor thing so i had to chase it down and corner it in… well… a corner, and i offered it a jam cookie and patted it on the head and took the note
here is the note!

Greetings from the tarot theorists in the formerly haunted house inhabiting the oppressive black nothingness,
This is Dimitri the spider. Please treat him well. We have sent him as a messenger (as you can clearly see) to let you know how thankful we are for your continued help.
As I do not yet know the distance between where we are and the usual plane of existence, please offer Dimitri a place to rest and a filling breakfast before tossing him once again into the abyss.
Our lives are in your hands, gentle tea-reading cousins. I cannot thank you enough for your vigilance.
PS Please upload the following to my Terrible Tarot blog.


Placement: The Major Arcana

In some decks, this card is called The Juggler, and the Tarot of Marseille decks call him The Mountebank. The design usually shows him with an infinity symbol over his head while he tinkers with or shows off items on a table, each representing the suits of the Minor Arcana cards: wand, coins, cups and knives. Sometimes flowers grow beneath the table.


Right side up:
Among the keywords for The Magician card are “Dexterity” and “Intelligence”. In other words, represents many of the sought-after attributes of many an ideal Dungeons and Dragons character, especially if doing arithmetic to determine the best combination of imaginary weapons is not your style of play. The Magician card represents what we in divination circles like to call “mad skills.”

Sometimes, The Magician card represents the genuine article. Sometimes it represents a charlatan, in which case he is a charlatan who (at least briefly) succeeds. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. The Wizard of Oz is a decent example of that interpretation of The Magician card. He may be only a humbug, but he does have a way with sound amplification, theatrical smoke, flame throwing, and a giant puppet head.

On the surface, none of The Magician themes lead to certain death, but like anyone who either dabbles in hidden realities or deals in illusions, all is not what it seems.

If anyone is likely to annoy others and invite all the wrong kind of trouble*, it is The Magician. If his magic is real, he runs the risk of frightening society into torturing a confession of witchcraft out of him, then either hanging him, drowning him, or burning him at the stake. If he is a charlatan and does not get caught, he could suffer the same fate, and if he is exposed, anyone who gave him money would be out for blood. The more serious the crimes, the more serious the revenge, even more so if you fooled particularly bad and powerful people. The Wizard of Oz was rather lucky, but even he had to leave town in a hurry when a witch killer, a cyborg, a sentient wild carnivore, and a walking fire hazard found him out.

Getting The Magician card in your spread does not necessarily make you the Magician in question, however. You may merely be the victim of a magic user or a hustler’s schemes. Beware of princes (Nigerian or Frog), snow salesmen north of the Arctic circle and especially, especially loud-mouthed reality television stars who live in golden towers.


Upside down:
With great power comes great responsibility, and The Magician reversed avoids both. He may refuse to use his skills or else he uses them in malice.

Then again, The Magician reversed can represent what is commonly known as a mental hiccup, brain fart, or leaving one’s head on a cross-country Greyhound bus. Some real-life illusionists have died from these short lapses in concentration. It could easily happen to you, or to someone near enough to to catch you in the blast radius.

Another interpretation of The Magician is either weakness or indecision. I am not sure which.


*There is only one “right” kind of trouble, and that is a catchy advert for a fraudulent children’s marching band. The board game of the same name is an abomination.


Classic The Magician deaths:

  • Rabid rabbit hat
  • Sawed in half
  • Being too clever for your own good