Letters

after the beep

“Hello, this is Hector from Hector the Spectre Collector. Unfortunately, we are all booked up until next week. If you …

The House

“We will (grudgingly) stop wailing obscenities in your ears at three in the morning. This is a big sacrifice for us. Your reactions are priceless! Oh man, we wish you could see how you look! What a bunch of dweebs!”

King of Conspiracy?

“the Octopus is a secret symbol for the head of a conspiracy linking the Masons, the Mafia, the Illuminati, the CIA, the Templars, the Joneses…

A Pastafarian Perspective

th’ Flyin’ Spaghetti Monster, who boiled fer yer sins ‘n fills yer belly when ye be famish’d.

King Cthulhu?

You claim to understand and teach the symbolism of tarot but you’re missing the most important message: the arrival of the Great Old Ones.

Flames in the mailbox

This afternoon the kind young lady who posts my words online informed me that she has decided not to upload …

The Troll

Dear Terrible Tarot,

What the hell do you think you’re doing? You’re making everything about death, even the Death card, WHICH IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT CHANGE. No one will read Tarot cards if they think it’s all disasters and [word deleted].