Minor Arcana

Damsel of Wands

Your autobiography will read like an off-brand book of Mad Libs.

Five of Cups

You cannot chop despair into a nice fruit salad.

Three of Coins

Two is a coincidence, three is a pattern… three wishes… celebrity deaths come in threes or two-thousand-sixteens…

Ten of Wands

Uh, hi, tarot blogger lady? It’s Colin. One of the ghosts? We didn’t interrupt your last post! That voice in …

Two of Fish

beware. beware! fear the coming darkness.

Ten of Coins

You have many stories to tell. No one listens anymore.

Seven of Wands

To avoid ultimate defeat, wise Tarot readers will insist that you do something monumentally stupid upon pulling a seven.

Three of Lizards

Chamaeleonids are especially tickled pink by the opportunity.

Dame of Swords

What? No! Wrong way! We’ll be run over by massive fifteenth century carts with lift kits and fake nuts tied to the back!

Eight of Coins

In the Sola Busca version, (featured above) the carver is finished. Finished, as in pecked clean by the crows, one of which still lurks on a branch above.

(a post that is short and unsweet)

Knight of Coins

The Knight of Coins waits for orders, and waits some more, then continues to wait, followed by a great deal of waiting, culminating in a good long wait.

Queen of Chickens

“Then you shall pounce on all the mice,” said the Pig, “and I shall build a mouse-proof fence around this farm to keep the rest out!”

He also promised to lock the well-meaning Little Red Hen into a chicken coop for good.

Four of Lizards

Hibernation. Ensure that you visit the lavatory before you sleep, lest you need to (god forbid) leave your bed in the middle of February.

Three of Wands

“THIS is my stick,” she/he/they/ze says. “Mine. It is the very best stick.”

King of Conspiracy?

“the Octopus is a secret symbol for the head of a conspiracy linking the Masons, the Mafia, the Illuminati, the CIA, the Templars, the Joneses…

A Pastafarian Perspective

th’ Flyin’ Spaghetti Monster, who boiled fer yer sins ‘n fills yer belly when ye be famish’d.

King Cthulhu?

You claim to understand and teach the symbolism of tarot but you’re missing the most important message: the arrival of the Great Old Ones.