Numbered Cards

Five of Cups

You cannot chop despair into a nice fruit salad.

Three of Coins

Two is a coincidence, three is a pattern… three wishes… celebrity deaths come in threes or two-thousand-sixteens…

Ten of Wands

Uh, hi, tarot blogger lady? It’s Colin. One of the ghosts? We didn’t interrupt your last post! That voice in …

Two of Fish

beware. beware! fear the coming darkness.

Ten of Coins

You have many stories to tell. No one listens anymore.

Seven of Wands

To avoid ultimate defeat, wise Tarot readers will insist that you do something monumentally stupid upon pulling a seven.

Three of Lizards

Chamaeleonids are especially tickled pink by the opportunity.

Eight of Coins

In the Sola Busca version, (featured above) the carver is finished. Finished, as in pecked clean by the crows, one of which still lurks on a branch above.

(a post that is short and unsweet)

Four of Lizards

Hibernation. Ensure that you visit the lavatory before you sleep, lest you need to (god forbid) leave your bed in the middle of February.

Three of Wands

“THIS is my stick,” she/he/they/ze says. “Mine. It is the very best stick.”

Seven of Swords

If the Seven of Swords were a squirrel, your birdfeeder would leap beyond the Reptilian Occupation* and land in downtown Post-Apocalopolis.

Two of Wands

The globe in his hand represents power, and the universality of bowling.

Five of Octopus

“Two may slip from view. Three may break free. Four may take the floor. Five, you may not live.”

Six of Lizards

Ask your friends and family to say this phrase out loud, repeatedly, as fast as they can. If they cannot, then they are Lizard People sent to overthrow the Earth’s governments and form a New World Order. Try this test for everyone you meet.

Five of Coins

Dickensian without the occasional lucky coincidence. It’s the hole in your purse that empties into the parallel universe populated entirely by dryer socks. It’s the word DOOM spelled out in wooden nickels.

Two of Coins

The coins are for your eyelids, to pay the ferryman to the underworld, or else he will make you sleep with the fishes.

Three of Swords

Placement: The Minor Arcana Description: Three swords pierce a disembodied heart against a grey background, often in a rainstorm. This is …

Ace of Fish

  Placement: The Negligible Arcana Description: The Giant Hand carries a rather perturbed looking fish, tail-side up. In some versions there …

Ace of Swords

Placement: The Minor Arcana Description: The giant hand in the cloud has returned, now looming over mountains and wielding a silver …