One Hundred Posts

It has come to my attention that today marks the one-hundredth Terrible Tarot post. I, and the nice young woman who uploads my humble scribblings, would like to thank our readers, all four of you.

Eight of Coins

In the Sola Busca version, (featured above) the carver is finished. Finished, as in pecked clean by the crows, one of which still lurks on a branch above.

(a post that is short and unsweet)

22. The Woods

If you go down to the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise. If you go down to the woods today, you’d better go in disguise, for every bear that ever there was will gather there together because we have been encroaching upon their natural habitat and the wilderness hungers for vengeance.

16. The Tower (second attempt)

Avoid the temptation of negative thought. Avoid the naivete of positive thought. Avoid thought. Avoid perception. Avoid the word “doom”. Under no circumstances should you allow yourself to have a nightmare. Sleep well.

Knight of Coins

The Knight of Coins waits for orders, and waits some more, then continues to wait, followed by a great deal of waiting, culminating in a good long wait.

Queen of Chickens

“Then you shall pounce on all the mice,” said the Pig, “and I shall build a mouse-proof fence around this farm to keep the rest out!”

He also promised to lock the well-meaning Little Red Hen into a chicken coop for good.

Four of Lizards

Hibernation. Ensure that you visit the lavatory before you sleep, lest you need to (god forbid) leave your bed in the middle of February.

Three of Wands

“THIS is my stick,” she/he/they/ze says. “Mine. It is the very best stick.”

10. Wheel of Fortune

A Roman goddess, an Egyptian god, a sphinx, four saints disguised as flying animals, a snake, and an alchemist graffiti artist walk into a bar…

King of Conspiracy?

“the Octopus is a secret symbol for the head of a conspiracy linking the Masons, the Mafia, the Illuminati, the CIA, the Templars, the Joneses…

A Pastafarian Perspective

th’ Flyin’ Spaghetti Monster, who boiled fer yer sins ‘n fills yer belly when ye be famish’d.

King Cthulhu?

You claim to understand and teach the symbolism of tarot but you’re missing the most important message: the arrival of the Great Old Ones.

Flames in the mailbox

This afternoon the kind young lady who posts my words online informed me that she has decided not to upload …

King of Octopus

Claim mastery over the oddity. The weird is mightier than the pen, sword, mouse, duck, or morphin power ranger.

Seven of Swords

If the Seven of Swords were a squirrel, your birdfeeder would leap beyond the Reptilian Occupation* and land in downtown Post-Apocalopolis.

Knight of Fish

A zitiron, a mythological sea knight with the lower body of a fish, the weapons of a knight, and the washboard abs of a man. The head and face are covered entirely by a helmet. It could look like pug for all we know.

The Troll

Dear Terrible Tarot,

What the hell do you think you’re doing? You’re making everything about death, even the Death card, WHICH IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT CHANGE. No one will read Tarot cards if they think it’s all disasters and [word deleted].

18. The Moon

Wait, you remember something about playing something… There was a beta test for a virtual… OH MY GOD YOU’RE STILL IN THE GAME!

Two of Wands

The globe in his hand represents power, and the universality of bowling.