The Not-Always-Gendered of Tarot

14. Temperance

The rocks are slippery. Recovery is slippery. Angels hate getting their down feathers wet.

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Knight of Cups

Placement: The Minor Arcana Description: This card features a knight on horseback, carrying a cup. The horse has two of …

6. The Lovers

Star-crossed lovers. Never, ever cross a star. The gravity of those celestial bodies will crush you into naught but a burning smear of meat grease. Thus the synonym for infatuation: crush.

Page of Octopus

Placement: The Negligible Arcana Description: The illustrations for this card usually depict a juvenile octopus, sometimes without adornment, and sometimes …

Page of Chickens

– Scrambled
– Hardboiled
– Served to the Breakfast Club
– Sacrificed by the cult of mediocrity
– Expulsion from the school of life

Page of Lizards

Cinderella. Dance like you have friends and beware the killing stroke of midnight. Bite back.

Page of Coins

Placement: The Minor Arcana Description: A young person stands in a flowery meadow in front of a golden or white …

Page of Swords

Placement: The Minor Arcana Description: A young person swings a sword around on a windy hill. The background is sunny …

Page of Wands

Placement: The Minor Arcana Description: The Page in tarot is sometimes called the Jack, the Princess, or the Knave. Since …

Ten of Cups

You will die knowing that your legacy is secure, or at least you think it is. It may not be. …

He has clearly hidden the tarts in his hat.

Page of Cups

You will die in a constant cycle of adaptation within someone else’s story.   Placement: The Minor Arcana   Description: …